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Eating Disorders Equal PainShe wants
To be thin like
A model, so she
Reaches down her throat and makes herself
Vomit up everything
Inside her stomach.
Nothing will be left but
Her body does not
Understand why it is being punished. It did
Not do anything wrong. Why would she
Go and do that to it?
Every bone in her body
Reaches out for help.
She hates the body she was given, and wants to
It hates her for being so cruel, and
Not letting it grow like it should be able to.
Noontime finds her puking up her lunch, and
You walk away like you heard nothing.
A horrible body like this one is
Not fit for living on this earth.
Only the skinniest women should ever
Every model is beautiful, but
X-rays show that their bodies are
A starving girl cries when she's alone.
Beauty is being so thin that your
Underwire in your bra has nothing to hold up, because you
Lost another cup size.
I starve myself to be beautiful. I want to look in the
Mirror and see someone that
I am happy with. I could
E.D. - D.E.E.D.- D.E.
Day 1: FINE
Tip (note to self: Tips are only for people who want to end up like me.) : You know, if you wait until you're already late you have an excuse to skip breakfast. And, if you tell your friends that you had a huge breakfast, and that is why you were late to class/homeroom, again, you can skip lunch. No questions Asked.
Hey, reader. I could write a book of different ways not to have to eat. I dont know what it is, it may be a control thing, like they say, the doctors, but I think, you just feel better when youre empty inside. Its like youre getting somewhere you have been waiting to go. Every time you eat it feels like a huge detour and you spend your time waiting to be empty again, so you can get back on the road. Speeding wildly until you have to detour again .
Im not anorexic you know. I dont have a disorder.
bulimia nervosa, in d minoryou're very pretty, in a heart-wrenching kind of way.
your scrawny arms, usually sporting silver or gold bracelets which look more alive than you sometimes, your skin is so frighteningly pale.
he loves you, you know.
yes. you know.
your arms lead up to your shoulder blades, like branches on a delicate tree. a willow.
a weeping willow.
shoulder blades. razor sharp, those, sticking out of your back as if they had been wrenched apart and away
he wonders whether you want to fly. one day you told him,
sometimes, i'd like to fade away. have you ever thought of that? just close my eyes and disappear.
i wouldn't die, no, not exactly. i would still feel the wind blowing through my hair, i would still see the grass rustling, maybe i could even stand up and feel
it beneath my feet. i love the feel of dew, you know. it's such a gentle complement to the scratchy blades.
you always go off on tangents such as these. other roads. other ways. other trains
of thought. you aren't very
This one is Mine.I see the look in your eye as you follow her around the room,
I saw the poem you wrote, and told her she'd know whom.
Who it was for is what she asked, and walked off without a clue,
And you stared at her back whispering "I love you.".
Well, I'm going to be nice and give you a warning here,
This one is mine, and only mine, do I make myself clear?
I know she loves me more than words can express,
And I tell you, she is mine, that girl in that dress.
I read that poem, and I must tell you something,
I love her, and she loves me, for me she would do anything.
So, whatever you're waiting for, the right place, the right time?
Stop waiting, because I'm not letting go, I'm telling you. She's mine.
Listen eating disorderShhhh.
Can anyone hear it.
Shhhhhh, I said.
Do you hear it?
The heart pounds heavy
the hands grow shaky
the anxiety rips through
her tightening insides.
Can you hear it yet?
Its so loud,
It echos in her head
pounding off the sides.
Vibrating her pounding heart.
Cant you hear her?
out for you
our for anyone
anyone to hear her.
But noone will
They dont know how.
Her life is a shallow
schedule of events.
Knowledge of every
she could ever want
or ever reach for.
Always pinching skin,
Mirrors stalk her,
Food haunts her.
how much food
how less food
when to purge
her miles ran
her push ups...
She tries so hard to
find the normal life
Red Riding HoodI want to believe people so badly when they say they won’t bite
that I contemplate climbing into their smiling jaws
thinking that it might be better to be split in two than left hanging.
But always, I draw my red hood and flit back into the forest
running in the shadows of pathways, never stepping into clearings
because I’ve spent my whole life in the wilderness
and I still can’t tell the wolves from the woodsmen.
You Were Not An Aquarium BoySea-glass became your bones,
brine your blood, and seashells
melded into your skin.
You were not quite an ocean
when you said "This is your sign to love me."
My body was like a building;
tall, cold, almost unbreakable.
I was metallic and sharp,
towering over your waters.
I remember taking your hand in mine,
conch and coral shells scrubbing
my skyscraper wrists, and laughing
about how one day you would
submerge every last bit of me.
Your lips, riddled with argonauts,
found my cheek and I cringed
at the coarseness.
You asked if they bothered me
and I finally told you "I
think I love you."
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